Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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