Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
