you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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