u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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