Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
