FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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