i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
