Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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