I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
