You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
