i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
