I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
