I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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