i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
