Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
