Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
