But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
