He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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