i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
