i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
