All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
