I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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