Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
