God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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