she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
