he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
