you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
