Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
