Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We left the knife in your bed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
