just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
