who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
