Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so explain again why im purple
no
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
