The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
