found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
