Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
