Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
