Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
