Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like

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(845): View more from New York

the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did

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(251): View more from Alabama

I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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(716): View more from New York

found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college

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(334): View more from Alabama

Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?

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(512): View more from Texas

the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.

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