I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
