dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
