Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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