come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
