i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
