goodnight i made you a song goodbye
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
