that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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