Me. At least after what I've been through.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
