If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
