He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
