yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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