Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
